Soldier Down

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Assalamu'alaikum, y'all!!

*BIG sigh*

Blogging's been tough lately.  It's not that I don't want to.  Just don't have the time.  My final exam's getting nearer and nearer.  It's just around the table (around the corner still seems so far away).

My dear little sis texted me yesterday.  Insya-Allah I'll be seeing her this weekend.  She asked me how I was doing.

Honestly, I'm not doing very good.  In truth, I'm not surprised that not many of those around me knows.  All I do everyday is smile and laugh around my friends and everybody.  Deep inside, nobody actually knows the turbulence I' going through.  True, there are other people whose lives are not even as close to good as mine.  I assure you guys, I'm so grateful that I have a roof under my head, a place to learn, a loving family and also very...VERY awesome friends.  I can only do what Allah S.W.T asks me to do to show how thankful I am.  I smile and laugh like nothing's wrong cos I just don't wanna be a burden to anybody.  Namely, my family.

Being the last child ain't a walk in the park, people.  Ok!!??  I seriously hate those who say, "Ye la.  Dia kan anak bongsu.  Mesti la dapat apa benda yg dia nak."  To those who think that way, you wanna know what I think?  Hell, I think I'll just say it whether you wanna know or not.

THAT STATEMENT IS JUST ABSOLUTE BOLLOCKS!!  AND Y'ALL CAN JUST JUMP OFF A CLIFF FOR ALL THAT I CARE!!

I'll just let you all delve on this by yourselves.  Pandai-pandai la fikir sendiri.  To those who are friends with me and think the same, re-think on your thoughts about the statement.

Anywho, I'm just a bit down cos most of my friends are going away.  Close friends to be exact.  And I don't mean moving from next door to another state.  I mean to another continent and/or country.  Get the point?

My studies are like...going down the drain.  I'm not failing in any of them.  Alhamdulillah for that.  I'm just so afraid that I won't get good grades this semester.  And that I will let my parents down.  Of course, they'll say that it's ok and that they know I've tried my best.  True, I work my butt off in everything.  Studies, sports, writing stories, music.  But sometimes my best isn't good enough.  Gotta work harder AND smarter.

Bottom line, I'm grateful for everything that He's given me.  I'm still working on a few other things so that He'll see me fit to get what I want.  I can just pray and hope that He Sees me as one of His loyal servants.  AMIIIN..Insya-Allah..

Well, I gotta jet.  Stay awesome, people!!

See you guys on the flip side!!

P.S : Sorry for the s****y post.  I've been a bit 'off' lately.