Tuesday, 5 September 2017

I Could Fall or I Could Fly

In the name of Allah. The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

Assalamu'alaikum, y'all!

"Carpe, carpe. Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary."
~ John Keating (Dead Poets Society) ~

I posted this on my Instastory not long ago...............

I got an offer to pursue my masters about a month ago. A lecturer who was my secondary supervisor (SV) during my degree texted me. Mind you, at the time I was asleep and my head was like extremely heavy. Don't judge me. I mean, yeah it was like 7 in the morning. I was still tired from playing MASUM and I was still in vacay mode sebab baru je habis degree. At least dah Solat. Haha!

Anyway, she texted saying that she has an opening for a full-research masters program. The project was confirmed but there weren't any students to take on the project. I'm telling you, man. I jumped out of my bed and just stared at text. Just so you know, my final CGPA is less than flattering. Not that I slacked off (not all the time la) but hey, I'm a guy who's interested in the world of fantasy, wizardry, myths and arts that lived the engineering student-life, where everything was just logic. For 6 years. 6 friggin' years! That said, I think I did alright. My point is....

Why me?

I told her that I wanna discuss with my family first. She was cool with that, so I did. Sorta. Sure enough, my whole family told me to take the deal. One saying, "Kerja, sangat x best.". I'm gonna be really honest................

I was leaning towards the other way.

People who know me are aware of how much I miss my 2-month vacation in the UK 5 years ago. After that experience, I set my sights on pursuing my degree there. I got the opportunity but after it crashed and burn, I put ONE condition for me going for my masters:


Other than that, no. I opted to work and THEN do my masters. This is just a rhetorical question so bare with me. Do you have any idea how draining it feels to see your friends having a career and earning their own money? Don't get me wrong. Mana2 kerja pun, it won't be a walk in the park. It's WORK. What do YOU think?! You think studying would be easier? What's life without challenges, eh? 6 years doing engineering. You have any idea who much blood, sweat and tears were drawn out? Yes, in some assignments I bled. Berpeluh tu x yah cakap la kan. The tears. Let's just say I could flood your basement with the amount of tears over the whole duration.

I guess I just had to look at the bigger picture. I met with the lecturer to get all the details. Let's just say that there were some pros and cons. She told me that over the course of being my SV last time around, she thinks that I have potential. Potential untuk apa, ntah la. Aku pun x tau. Nyahaha! She likes students to be proactive and show their progress. Personally, I just think it's because I can speak English well. Or maybe she was just buttering me up so I'll take the offer. On the plus side, it's a full-research program for 3-8 semesters. In those 3 semesters (if I finish on time), I'll only be taking 2 classes and the rest will be research. But she gave me an early warning: It won't be easy. Proves my point, innit? Study or work, neither is easy.

I'll continue my rant some time soon but for now, my answer is..............

7 and a half years (In Sya-Allah) at the same place. What awaits, I got no clue. I'm just praying that I won't regret this and REALLY hope that Allah S.W.T will help me along the way as He has all this time.

See you guys on the flip side!!

P.S: A few weeks ago, I haven't even registered, already talks about me going for a PhD. Aku dah agak dah. Siapa yang sambung belajar sebenarnya ni? Haha!